Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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