i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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