brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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