You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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