What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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