you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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