it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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