Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize