Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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