You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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