just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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