I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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