i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
handjob tips. give me some.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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