Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's Friday. Sex?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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