Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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