The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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