my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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