***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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