I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Two words: nipple clamps
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