So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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