As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize