Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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