so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize