two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i think my cat just said my name.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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