Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize