First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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