Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
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He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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