i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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