Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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