I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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