the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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