Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize