I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
there is glitter all over my balls
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