If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had to cum in my sink.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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