matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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