you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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