Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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