I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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