Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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