My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Even my vagina gasped.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize