Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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