dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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