Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize