I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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