You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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