My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A bitchslap is in order.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize