we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
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I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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