Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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