Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize