Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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